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Wednesday, 9 February 2022

The Three (Thirsty) Musketeers, episode 5: The Finale

The three musketeers chased after Lady Blanche and the hooded lady, and were just in time to see them going into a town house belonging to Duchess Selina - the one who witnessed Renée's not-quite-duel in the park with Patience.  They took a moment to catch their breath.  Arsene apologised to Katerina for turning her down quite so forcefully, and Katerina assured him that that was completely fine.  But then they saw someone else arrive at the house.  Queen Louise.

They needed to get into that house and find Blanche.  Renée suggested the traditional method of climbing over a back wall, and soon they spotted Blanche inside being plied with champagne by the mysterious hooded lady, now no longer hooded.

If they were going to get inside, they would need some disguises, blood-spattered musketeer uniforms being a little inappropriate for a fancy party.  Renée seduced a couple of party-goers in the gardens, efficiently separating them from their dresses to give Arsene the chance to swipe them.  Arsene himself located a spare servant's uniform, and the three of them got dressed.

A random party-goer, mistaking Arsene for the butler he was dressed at, handed him a note to deliver to the Queen.  Arsene read it at the first possible opportunity.  It was to tell the Queen that Lady Blanche was there.  He substituted it for a note of his own saying that Lady Blanche was with the Cardinal and that he wished to meet with the Queen, and handed it to one of the Queen's footwomen to deliver.  The Queen immediately gave her apologies and left the party.

Renée and Katerina went to find Blanche.  Renée flung open the door, and dramatically accused Blanche of abandoning her when they were supposed to be meeting in the gardens.  While everyone's attention was on Renée, Katerina slipped inside, grabbed a champagne bottle and hit the hooded lady over the head with it.

While Renée fled with Blanche, Katerina shared an appraising look with the hooded lady, then made her own exit via the balcony, leaping down into the fountain.  Arsene was hot on her trail, intercepting the hooded lady and attempting to convince her that he was still working for the Cardinal.  He asked for a report to pass along.  She said Blanche didn't say much beyond that Blanche knew where the Duchess of Buckingham was.

The three musketeers gathered again, along with Blanche and Monique, and took a carriage to Katerina's lodgings, Renée having finally had enough of her place being used like a public house.  Blanche was very drunk, insisting that she didn't tell the nice lady where the Duchess was in a way that didn't convince anyone.  Katerina was somewhat discheveled from her dive into the fountain, and scandalised everyone by discarding a series of torn items of clothing out of the window along the way.

They arrived at Katerina's lodgings to find Jussac waiting.  She was initially very happy to see the by now almost entirely disrobed Katerina, but somewhat less happy when the other four got out of the carriage, particularly Arsene who she still wanted to arrest.  Katerina lead her off for a private talk.  Jussac said it was either going to be Arsene's head or hers in a noose.  Katerina convinced her that there was another way: help them take down the Cardinal.  Together they hatched a plan.

Renée had been planning to talk to Katerina about Monique's interest in her, but seeing her head inside with Jussac realised Monique wasn't anywhere in Katerina's view.  She sat down with Monique to explain to her that if Katerina was going to settle down with anyone, it was going to be Jussac.  Monique was very upset, and Renée assured her that she knew how she felt.  Monique was surprised.  How did Renée know how it felt to love someone who didn't love her back?  Who was it that she loved?  And Renée was forced to admit that it was Monique.

Arsene looked after Blanche, getting her a coffee and somewhere to lie down as she started to sober up.  He explained to her that he wasn't really working for the Cardinal, but that nice lady she'd just been sharing all her secrets with was.  Blanche rapidly sobered up, suddenly realising how much danger the Duchess was in.  They had to get her to her meeting with Queen Anne.  Arsene didn't think the palace was a safe meeting place, but remembered a particularly discreet venue from his highwayman days where the meeting could take place.  Moved by Arsene's obvious sincerity, Blanche found it within herself to forgive him his past crimes against her family.

They had to act fast, if they were going to both incriminate the Cardinal and save the Duchess.  Katerina went straight to the palace to talk to Queen Louise.  She delivered an impassioned speech on the Cardinal's plotting against the crown, and how the Queen needed to witness his betrayal for herself.  And the Queen was persuaded to go with her.

Arsene and Renée took Monique with them to find the Duchess, but arrived at her safe house to find the Cardinal's guards already there and preparing for an ambush.  Renée spotted Patience, and remembering the way she'd looked at her in the park, realised this would make a great distraction.  She taunted Patience into a repeat of the earlier duel, a fight that rapidly turned to kissing.

With most eyes on Renée and Patience, Arsene slipped into the building and soon convinced the Duchess of the urgency of departure.  But Jussac was on his tail, still hoping to take him down as the Cardinal considered him a loose end.  He got Monique and the Duchess to freedom, but was forced to turn to face Jussac, fending her off for just long enough to make a dramatic escape.

Renée finally let go of Patience, who was coming to realise that Renée didn't really like her that way.  Patience tried to convince her to renounce the Hapsburg Queen.  Renée wasn't sure, insisting that her loyalty was to France.  And then a flash of red caught their attention.  The Cardinal was there.  Would Renée swear on the Bible to renounce the Hapsburg Queen?

The Cardinal's Bible.  The one where he hid all his secret documents.  The proof that they needed to convince Queen Louise of his treachery.  Renée grabbed the Bible and ran.

Guards pursued her, but found themselves slowed by a sudden swirl of a cape as Arsene leapt down from the roof, breaking his leg as he landed but still slowing them down enough for Renée to keep running.  And then Katerina was there, leaping out of the bushes, rampaging like a wild animal, knocking guards out of the way as she ran to intercept the Cardinal.  And suddenly Renée was face to face with Queen Louise, thrusting the incriminating Bible into her hands.

Everything went still as she leafed through the papers within.

And here we leave our three musketeers.  Perhaps Katerina will find happiness with Jussac, now free of the Cardinal's influence.  Perhaps Renée, now finally sure that she made the right choice leaving the convent, will win Monique's heart.  Perhaps Arsene will find peace knowing that at least some of his sins have been forgiven and he has two true friends at his side no matter what.  But for now, their story is at a close.

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