Some time spent reassuring Raven about the pact and I'm feeling a little better. We've got a plan, and maybe it's not a great plan, but for once I'm feeling something like hope. As Beatrice and Raven start bickering over cocktail recipes I step away into one of the bedrooms. I need to get Huldra's spear back, and I'm going to dream my way to it.
It feels strange to be falling asleep without the usual sense of dread. But when the familiar feeling of being dragged back into Paradise Gardens starts I find I can stop myself and choose my own path. My flat. My sanctuary. But of course there's no spear. DCI Hunt must have known what it was. That won't stop me though. I reach out for it, and find myself outside my own body, watching my eyes turn white.
And then I'm in an alleyway. Stars are shining above me, and dark skyscrapers tower over me, which should block out the stars and yet there they are. The spear is there, sticking out of what looks like a pile of broken meat, sticky with blood. As I reach for the spear, I realise a few things. The blood isn't blood but black ichor, and it isn't running out of the flesh, it's running back in. This pile of meat is a body. It's still alive. And it has a face.
"Jesus Christ, Nathan!"
I have a lot of questions, all of which are going to have to wait. I carefully pull the spear out of what remains of Nathan's body and as I do so we both hear the sound of something predatory. We're being hunted. I need to get us out of there. Which means I need a happy memory, and right now I'm running on empty. I can see Nathan has questions of his own about what I'm doing, but he comes through on the memory. A photo of him with a woman and a child. Based on the resemblance between them she must be family. Maybe a sister. Somehow I never really pictured Nathan having a family. Although given how young he looks in this photo, this is probably from before any of us ended up at Paradise Gardens.
As Nathan's face contorts from the pain of having a memory torn out of him, I grab hold of as much of him as possible and drag him through the door I've created. For once, everything works as intended. We're back in the penthouse, in the bathroom. I dump the pile of meat into the tub and go and find Mary.
"I don't go on poorly planned rescue missions to other dimensions for just anyone, you know," I tell her, and find myself breaking down into hysterical laughter when I tell her that Nathan's reassembling himself in the bath. Then I have to convince Nathan that this blonde bombshell I've just brought into the bathroom really is Mary. He immediately starts flirting. At least I'm in no doubt that he really is who he says he is.
Since we're all here, time to discus the plan. Which of them are we going to sacrifice? Lilith is out. I'm still bound to Abaddon. Nathan rules out Piper, or whatever she's calling herself these days. He thinks she's bound someone, and based on that photo he gave me I can take a guess at who. Which leaves Behemoth.
Raven's book has the ritual to summon him by name. We shouldn't do it here though. We don't want to have to move him, and the ritual to summon the book has to be done in some barrow on Hampstead Heath. How Nathan knows that I have no idea, but I'm not going to argue with the pile of ichor covered knitting flesh. Which just leaves the question of what we're going to do with Raven and Beatrice while all this is happening. I've dragged them both through so much already.
Not that they're giving me the choice, as a drunken Raven comes stumbling into the room, takes one look at Nathan, and turns even whiter than usual. As he drags himself off to find an unoccupied bathroom to throw up in, Beatrice joins us. She's got no intention of being left out of this, and my protestations that I need her to look after Raven are getting me nowhere. Mary chimes in, explaining that the three of us are far more powerful now, and can't afford to waste effort protecting her. And while I'm pretty sure that's the truth, at least for Mary, Beatrice is having none of it.
So it's going to be all five of us. We need to prepare. Nathan still isn't in a fit state to go anywhere, Raven and Beatrice are drunk, and I haven't had a coffee in several hours. Beatrice also want some weapons, and I can see her stance periodically change to that of Manius. I think I can help with that.
There's a fancy metal dish in a pretend fireplace that will do. Raven pricks his finger and uses his quill to draw a gladius and spear onto some paper. That goes into the bowl, along with some other stuff that will burn. There's supposed to be sweet herbs to make an odour. A pinch of Raven's skunk will have to do. I breathe in the smoke, reach into Limbo for a dream of Romans, and when I open my eyes the weapons are lying beside me. I hand them to Beatrice. They won't last forever, but they'll last long enough.
I can see the envy in Raven's eyes. I tell him that if we both get out of this OK, we need to have a very long talk. He agrees, but for now he tells me to rest. One last - first - good night's sleep before whatever happens, happens.
When I wake up, Raven has already ordered room service and is deep in conversation with whatever staff member delivered it. I don't normally eat much breakfast, but the way I've been missing meals lately, the idea of a freshly made omelette is quite appealing. But while I'm eating, I suddenly become aware of a presence in my mind. I instinctively push it away - but then I realise it's Mary, pulling the knowledge of where to find Lily's skin out of my mind. She doesn't want to bring up Lily in front of Nathan. And she leaves me a memory. A conversation with Lily in the churchyard where Mary used to sleep. Not the spiteful ghost, or the cruel fake, but Lily as I remember her. It's enough to move me to tears.
We have to get her skin back. Nathan isn't happy with the idea that we've got an errand to run on this of all days, and also wants to know what's got me so emotional, so we have to tell him. After all this time, I have to do this one last thing for Lily. So he's coming with us.
A short ride in Mary's limo later, we're outside a Georgian terrace in Holborn. While Nathan and Mary argue over whether to take the direct or indirect approach to getting the door open, I'm already bumping the lock, and as the door swings open I'm confronted with a stench of acrid smoke. Something is badly wrong here. Nathan takes the lead. We make our way up the stairs to the top floor, and then suddenly the others turn a corner and when I follow them they're gone.
Alone. Again. Trying not to panic. I can't do this. I can't do any of this without them. But I have to do this, for Lily. Twenty years I've spent searching for her. I can't stop now. I grip tightly onto Huldra's spear and push forward. The door to the flat swings open with the lightest touch. And there on the floor is Raven. Bleeding. Imploring. Choking to death.
No, I won't believe it. This is another trick, using his face to hurt me again. Then I hear a voice. Nathan's voice, telling me to wake up, and then I'm lying on the floor, next to Mary, with Nathan's face looking down at me.
Back on our feet. We're at the real flat this time, together. The door opens. It all looks pretty normal, except for the dish of keys and other pocket detritus, that contains several severed fingers. I remember that purple nail varnish. Poor Rachel.
I remember that the skin is in a suitcase under a bed, so I follow Mary to the bedroom. No problem finding the suitcase, but it's empty. It doesn't take long to find out where the skin is though, when Nathan calls us into the kitchen. Lillian is sitting there, acting like she doesn't know us and we're just some random people who are harassing her. I'm still angry over Raven's stolen face. Enough. Which one is she? She asks if I remember that conversation on the rooftop. Abaddon.
He gives up the pretence and starts taunting us, but one way or another we're getting that skin off him. I remember seeing him in the room in the brothel, emerging from the mouth of Damian's skin. I tell that to Nathan, who immediately shoves a fist into his mouth and rips the spider demon right out of there.
Mary grabs the skin. I try to draw a portal for Nathan to drop him through, but he kicks me and the spear flies right out of my hands. His jaws snap at Nathan, dripping venom, and Nathan's too fast for him but now he's free again and blocking the door. But Mary's back, with the suitcase, and a sudden blue wave of force comes out of her and smashes into him. I grab the spear again. We can't kill him yet, not while I'm still bound to him, but we can disable him. I drive the spear into his leg. He starts the turning to smoke trick Mildred's so fond of, but Nathan manages to break off a couple more legs before he dissipates. By throwing a fridge at him. A fridge.
This is it then. Time to pick up Beatrice and Raven and summon a demon.
Nathan leads us to the barrow on Hampstead Heath. He says there should be a staircase, but it's being hidden. He asks us to stab him. I understand what he's doing. The same thing I was doing when I decided to drop acid in Raven's flat. But there's an easier way. I talk him through the ritual from Raven's book. He says the words, a cloud passes across the sun for a moment, and then we're looking at a spiral staircase leading down into the barrow.
Dirt floors. A hanging leather hide curtain. It's all familiar. I've been here before - or Huldra has. Raven starts setting the place up. We haven't discussed this, but all the knowledge is in my head. I know what to do. Soon the braziers are all lit. I take my place and speak the words to summon Behemoth.
It doesn't work.
It's the same feeling I had when I tried to open the wrong door out of Limbo. Something's not right. Did I get the wrong name? Should I be calling on his human name instead of Behemoth? Raven doesn't think so. What if the reason it didn't work is because he's not there to call on? We've seen the other three, but none of us have seen Behemoth.
The sinking feeling in my stomach tells me he's right. Which means we need a replacement. A different unwilling servant. My mind races, debating the merits of summoning Piper and risking the wrath of Nathan, sacrificing myself alongside Abaddon or trying to find someone else. But Raven's way ahead of me. He's no more willing to sacrifice an innocent than I am. And I want to reassure him that we can find another way, but it's too late. The bastard uses his bond to summon Lilith.
For a moment the room is plunged into darkness. And then she's there, in her twinset and perfect bobbed hair, with her black eyes and cracking makeup and longer fingers with too many joints. Raven is obviously terrified, but he's still strong enough to make one request of her. Our safety.
We came here to sacrifice a demon, and that's what we're going to do. Raven's given me a gift and I have to accept it. Even though it's going to cost me everything. I give the signal to the others. Nathan is on her at once. Mary pushes the two of them into the binding circle and I close it up. She's strong, and pulls herself free of Nathan's grip, but Raven reminds her they have a pact and she can't fight it. As Nathan ties her down I look at Raven one last time.
"You'd better come back to haunt me," I tell him. He nods, and hands me the ritual knife. How else would he continue to share his poetry with me? And I step into the circle and get to work, carving symbols into Lilith's flesh. No words. Because if I so much as think about what I'm doing here I won't be able to do it. The final cut is across her throat.
I've done my job. The book is there. The thing that was supposed to get Raven out of this mess. Time to take a look. It tells me the history of the Dreori people. What use is this? I keep turning pages. It tells me of a sacrifice that went wrong. Huldra's story. Keep turning. Then it tells me of how the book was found by some pathetic wretch in London, who read stories of himself performing powerful magic, and went on to bring more people under his influence, including the four lieutenants, and how each of them used the book but with the fourth one it all went wrong. Lily's story.
I turn more pages, and it tells me of a magician sitting in a barrow reading a book with her friends, and then their inevitable defeat at the hands of Saklas. Something makes me turn back, and I read again, and the story's changed. Now I break the binding by cutting off the hand that signed the contract, but it's no good and we're defeated by Saklas. Again, and I sacrifice myself to save the others, but it's not enough and we're still defeated.
Again and again and every ending means our defeat. Beatrice asks us if we're fucked, and what else can I say but yes? She bends over Raven's lifeless body and closes his eyes. And something inside me breaks. A single word screams inside my head. No. No. This book is just like everything else. A trick. A liar. I did not sacrifice Raven for this. There is no inevitable defeat. The pages of the book turn blank.
As for breaking the binding, well what do I care if I have one less hand? I take the dream gladius and bring it down on my wrist. The pain is incredible as the blade smashes through flesh and bone, but it cauterises the wound as it goes. And then I'm free, and somehow I can feel that it's not just me. I've broken every chain those demons had on people. Abaddon should have listened when I told him I wanted freedom.
Someone asks me how I feel. With what I've lost, I don't even know. Ask me later if it was worth it. Right now Beatrice wants to get on with finding Saklas. So either we go back to Paradise Gardens or I can try opening a portal here. Beatrice is all for that, but Mary says to wait. We need all the help we can get, which means there's one last thing to do. She opens up the suitcase, takes off an ornate ring, and lays it down on the skin.
Initially the sight is revolting, as the skin bloats like a drowned corpse. But then suddenly everything fills out properly, and lying on the floor is Lily-Rose, as perfect and beautiful as I remember her.
"Hey, Izz."
"It's been a while." I can barely manage a smile. "You took some finding."
"Yeah."
No need for me to open a portal. Lily's got this. A wall of heat hits us, and then we're back in Inferno, in that vast cathedral. And there he is. Saklas, flanked by Ajulutsikael and Abaddon, and for the first time I'm not afraid of any of them. There is nothing left to break. There is only determination.
Of course he wants to monologue at us as he raises up his army of flayed corpses. I don't care. Lily's got this. I don't know what she does to them but every one falls to the ground. Enough talk. It's time to end this. Mary unleashes her blue energy wave again and I see the three of them shaken. Nathan hurls himself at Piper. But I have my own methods.
I hand Huldra's spear to Beatrice. I'm not much use with only one hand, and she knows what to do with it. Instead I take the knife and draw blood from the stump of my wrist, saying the words to bring forth nightmares. I remember Abaddon on that rooftop with his quid pro quo bullshit. You want to play Hannibal Lector with me? I'll show you fucking Hannibal Lector. And I can feel a strength I didn't have before. Why stop at one? All those movies I wasn't allowed to watch as a kid, haunting people's dreams. Freddy. Jason. Pinhead. My blood calls them and my will sends them at Abaddon, and in moments he's nothing but a grease stain on the floor.
I turn my attention away from the remains. Nathan is locked in some kind of dance with Piper. Mary has the SMG and has closed in on Saklas but he moves like lightning and the spray of bullets goes past him. His claws slash at her, but don't so much as leave a mark on her skin. She laughs in his face, and he recoils. About time she had some backup. I send my nightmares to surround him. He's no more impressed than he was with the spiders, but I don't care. I tell him I've seen better demons than him. Try living with depression.
Saklas calls for Ajulutsikael but Nathan has her in his arms, and I can hear the crack as he snaps her spine. Then the ceiling starts to fall, obsidian stalactites plunging from above. Is that all he's got? I sidestep them effortlessly. Obsidian breaks into the sharpest blades on earth. I should know. I bid my nightmares pick up the razor shards and drives them into him, pinning him down.
Then Beatrice is there behind him, Huldra's spear in her hand. She grabs him by his bald head, raises the spear and drives it into his neck. He screams at us, telling us Thaumiel will save him. Beatrice has one question for him. Is he sure about that? And with that, Saklas is dead.
Time to go. I need a happy memory. Beatrice hands me the spear. Yes, that'll do it. And we're home.
The next time we're all together is Raven's funeral. Highgate Cemetery of course, and there's a lot more people there than I was anticipating. Then onto the Dev, where there's quite the party atmosphere. Except at the table where the four of us are sitting, where things have descended into yet another awkward silence. I've prepared for this. I manoeuvre the paper into my new prosthetic hand and begin to read. One of Raven's poems, some absolute dreck inspired by my nightmares. It breaks the silence, and if I have to hurt like this, I want everyone else to hurt too.
So, Beatrice asks. Did we win? What now?
Mary still has to get her brother back from Vilde, but she's pretty confident she can handle that with one last favour from Lily. And given that she seems to be some kind of goddess incarnate, I think she's going to be fine. What Nathan is I still don't know, but it sounds like he's got a life to go back to with his job and his family.
Then Beatrice looks at me. And I can see my own pain mirrored in her face.
I'm glad she's letting me stay with her. It's not just that my own flat is a bullet-riddled ruin with a hell portal in the opposite flat and an angel sniffing around. I can't be on my own. I'm not OK. I was barely holding on as it was and now I've lost the reason I was able to keep going. Which, in the end, wasn't Lily.
Maybe Beatrice is what I need. Maybe as we walk through dreams together we'll find some new reason to keep going - like making sure we don't turn into the thing I had to fight in the museum, and the thing that made me fight it. But right now, my answer to her question is no. We achieved everything we set out to do. But it cost me everything.
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