Revelation 2022

North Star 2020 was supposed to be my first ever Garrison convention.

Two years later, fully vaxxed and boosted and with a negative test logged on my phone, I finally made it to Sheffield for my first Garrison convention.  Revelation: an entire weekend of PBTA and FITD games.

Things were fairly quiet on Friday night, but fortunately the small group gathered in the bar recognised me as one of them.  Taking a look at the other clientele it became obvious why.  Everyone else was there for the 70s/80s/90s dance party night.

I'd lucked out by finding a room sharer who knew her way around the Garrison and was able to help me navigate its eldritch halls.  I'm still not entirely sure how the geometry of the place works, but well before the 10am start she'd got me into the guardhouse ready for our first game.

Game 1&2: Masks

Things kicked off with a game of Masks - or rather two parallel games of Masks with two GMs working together on a scenario that saw different worlds colliding.  On our table we had a happy, friendly group of junior heroes, slightly frustrated at being sent to make an appearance at a movie premier rather than proper hero stuff but otherwise upbeat and optimistic.  At the end of the first session, half our team found themselves snatched away into another, much darker universe, while two of their heroes landed in our world.  Nevertheless, optimism prevailed, and after some initial distrust we learned to work together with the two strangers until the villains were defeated and our own team were restored to us.

This was the first time I'd experienced a multi-table game, and the two GMs did a spectacular job with this, keeping things running in parallel, signaling to each other when significant events happened, and consulting each other during breaks to keep things on the same page.  The table swapping part worked brilliantly, with the shock of losing two teammates that the game had had us establish some close relationships with giving us some great roleplay hooks to work with.

The most challenging part for me was really beforehand, when we had to make characters, as the junior superhero genre is not one I know particularly well, and PBTA playbooks tend to be all about leaning into character archetypes.  Fortunately my husband is a big Teen Titans fan, and immediately understood the Doomed playbook I'd chosen, and was able to help me put my character together.  From there I could use the playbook to guide me in the actual roleplay.

Overall I really liked Masks.  While my taste in superhero media runs more to the MCU than Teen Titans, this is definitely something I can see me playing again.

Game 3: Bite Marks

I didn't originally sign up for Bite Marks, but since I wasn't assigned an evening game, when I was offered a space I decided I'd give it a go.  I didn't know much about the game beyond that it involved werewolves, but I was willing to find out.  After a quick glance through the playbooks, I went with the Cub, a new young werewolf still figuring out their place in the pack, which seemed like a good fit for the somewhat naive and confused portrayal I was likely to be giving.

Rather to my surprise, the scenario we were playing turned out to be set in 1930s Chicago and we were a gang of moonshiners.  We each randomly selected a secret, established relationships between characters, defined the pack's internal slang, and off we went.  I decided that my character had been a gangster's moll, who on encountering the pack's incredibly handsome fixer had decided she'd rather join these far more interesting gangsters.  The game proceeded in a blend of action, drama and Ealing comedy until we finally dealt with the many threats to the pack and a new Alpha took over.

This was a bit of an odd one.  While I absolutely enjoyed the game, I think it had more to do with the fun scenario, entertaining GM and enthusiastic other players than the game itself.  Bite Marks describes itself as a game of werewolf pack dynamics, and while we certainly had some of that in the game, the bits where we were doing werewolf gangster things were a lot more my kind of fun.  It has some great design features, particularly the bit where you define the pack slang, but ultimately I don't think this one's for me.

Game 4: Matrons of Mystery

I couldn't very well go to a PBTA convention and not run my own PBTA game, could I?  Four ladies of the Ramsbottom village library club temporarily put aside their books and card playing to go and solve a murder at the local convention hotel where the guest of honour at a roleplaying convention had been murdered.

The best part of running this game continues to be the delightful old lady characters the players come up with every time.  This time the game ended with not only the killer's arrest, but one of the old ladies now committed to being the group's DM as the library club took a slight change of direction.

Knowing that other people were bringing books to sell, I packed my small stock of printed copies of Matrons of Mystery and sold half of them over the course of the weekend.  It's great to know people are enjoying this game.

Game 5: Monster of the Week

I've been looking forward to trying out Monster of the Week for quite a while.  This time I was on solid ground, genre-wise, having watched a lot of Buffy the Vampire Slayer.  Going through the playbooks I was soon able to identify most of the main cast.  The ones that weren't so immediately familiar I assume were more inspired by Supernatural, a show I've never seen, although thinking back later on I can see some Dresden Files influence in there as well.

By chance, the three players and GM of this game were the four junior heroes from the earlier Masks game, and sitting down together again almost felt like getting the band back together.  For my character I took inspiration for my tendency to accidentally set myself on fire in video games, and played a spellslinger specialising in fire magic with absolutely no cool.

I really liked how the playbooks not only embodied strong archetypes but absolutely give you the freedom to play them your own way.  My character's fire powers were pretty much in line with what Harry Dresden can do, but my character was entirely my own thing.  I also liked how the relationship questions served to set up a really strong friendship dynamic between the three characters - even more so than in Masks.

In short, this game was an absolute delight, and if I had to pick any game of the weekend to play another session of, it would be this one.

Reflections

With just over 20 people attending, this was a pretty tiny convention.  For my first experience of a Garrison convention, that was a good thing.  I got the chance to talk to most of the people there, not just the ones I was in games with.  It means that I'll already know a few people at future larger conventions.  It also meant I only had to get to grips with a limited part of the gaming space at the Garrison: the jailhouse and cells.  I'm told there's also a dungeon, and after walking around the place for a weekend, I can only assuming it exists in some kind of extra-dimensional space.

It was really nice to finally meet in person some of the people I've been getting to know over the last two years.  Here's hoping face to face gaming continues to be a viable option.  It was a wonderfully welcoming environment, and I'm really hoping to be able to get to North Star in person this year.

Kult: Broken Walls, episode 6: Hell

Take a moment to think.  Scorch marks around the mirror.  I call Beatrice in to see, because I'm probably going to do some pretty weird things in the immediate future and I need some kind of reason for it.  She comes in, reacts exactly as surprised as I expect, and then hands me a book.  She found it under Raven's mattress and it's not one of the moleskine notebooks he writes his poetry in.  It's leather bound, and as I flick through it I see symbols I recognise.  Symbols I saw burned into Lily-Rose's skin.  And he hasn't just been reading this.  There's footnotes all over it in his handwriting, and cross-references with other books.

What the fuck has he done?

Beatrice is looking at me.  So this is the point where I have to tell her that I think Raven's been messing with the occult, and that yes, I actually believe in that stuff.  I'm afraid he's done something really stupid.

It's pretty obvious he didn't leave via his front door, and this isn't the first strange thing I've seen in this flat.  There's something here and I can almost see it.  If I can just distort my perceptions enough maybe I can see through.  Which means I'm going to have to do something stupid too.

Raven's place has been tossed, so I can rule out most potential hiding places.  I find his stash in the bathroom, hidden behind a loose ceiling tile.  What looks like several grand's worth of pills, powders and things I don't even recognise.  I can't really explain to Beatrice why I think this is going to work, but as I sort through the stash I'm sure it will.  She is entirely willing to get high with me if that's somehow going to help Raven.

LSD then.  I've tried pretty much everything else in this bag, but that shit scares me.  Not something you should be messing with when your mental health is as bad as mine.  It doesn't help that it's not even on a blotter.  Just a bottle with a pipette.  Do I know the right dose of acid, Beatrice wants to know.  Of course not.  I get a sheet of toilet paper and drop one drop onto it, then tear it in half.  I'd love to tell Beatrice she can walk away right now and avoid getting mixed up in the mess that my life is becoming, but there's no point, is there?  She's never going to let me do this on my own.  We sit down on the bed, put the paper in our mouths and wait.

At first it just seems like the colours are getting brighter, and there's a moment where I think I've just condemned myself to an acid trip without anyone to look after me, but then I see it.  The other place occupying the same space as this flat.  The tall black buildings and the sharp sand underfoot.  And there, where the bathroom mirror should be, is a rip in reality.

Beatrice reacts first.  She's up off the bed, grabbing a knife from the kitchen counter, and is away through the tear.  I do the same, cursing myself for not bringing my gun, but then I could hardly explain to Beatrice why I was putting on a shoulder holster while she was helping with my flat.  The other kitchen knife is going to have to do.

It's hot.  Incredibly so.  Already I feel damp with sweat.  We're in a long corridor, with the sound of screaming in the distance, and Beatrice is understandably freaking out.  I hold onto her arm as she panics about the rip we came through disappearing.  How we're going to get out of here is a problem that can wait.  Right now we just need to find Raven and avoid running into anything that calls this place home.  I try to distract her with a bit of humour.  When she starts blaming me for her predicament, she should just remember that she came here by choice and nothing I could have said would have stopped her.  That seems to get through.  She makes me swear not to tell Raven that.  If he asks, I dragged her in here with me.  The last thing she needs is for him to be writing poetry about her as well.

I don't know how, but somehow I've got a feeling for where Raven is.  We walk, quickly and quietly along the corridor.  Beatrice burns herself on the wall, but manages to keep quiet until the corridor opens out into some kind of cathedral.  And I know I've been here before.  The altar.  The silken cloth.  Beatrice walks straight up to it and pulls it away, but this time there's no flayed corpse.  Just a mess of blood.  Beatrice trails a finger through it and looks back at me.

And then suddenly I'm angry.  What does she think she's doing?  I'm the one who got us here.  I'm the one who's been here before.  I run over and grab her arm, hard this time, telling her to stop and let me take the lead.  And everything goes dark.

We both hear the scuttling noises in the darkness.  Beatrice is freaking out again, wanting to know what it is.  Like I know that.  Whatever it is we're not staying here.  There are two other exits from this place besides the one we came in by.  I pick one at random and drag Beatrice towards it.  Then I hear Raven scream.

It's coming from the other exit.  I keep on dragging Beatrice, but now there's light again, enough to see four of the flayed corpses shuffling towards us.  Four.  And I emptied my gun into one of them at Paradise Gardens and that wasn't enough to stop it.  Onwards.  Through the exit, and a grating falls behind us.  One reaches through, and Beatrice jumps back out of its reach.  She asks what they are, and again I can't tell her.  But she says she recognises one of them.  The eyes.  She saw them at the coffee shop.  She points.  I see it too.  Rachel.

Something's wrong with Beatrice, I realise, as I look into her eyes and see the pupils enlarge and then suddenly contract to pinpricks.  She wants to know if this kind of thing is normal for me.  Of course not.  Normally I just follow cheating spouses for a living.  None of this is normal.  And then there's the other question.  Why does she want to stab me?

It's got her, whatever it is, the same way it got me in the room with the altar, I suddenly realise.  Now she's sitting on the floor refusing to move, demanding answers, blaming me for dragging her here, and I'm trying to give her what she wants but it's not going to be enough to stop her coming after me with that knife.  So I remind her that she came here by choice, and that she has to fight the thing that's controlling her.  And I can see in her eyes that she's snapping out of it, but we've stayed here too long and the grate opens.  The closest one reaches out for her, grabbing hold of her ankle while its long black tongue reaches out, tasting the air around her.  I drive my kitchen knife into its wrist, and while I lose the knife when it pulls its hand away, Beatrice is free.  I drag her back to her feet, and together we run.

The next room we come to is full of machines.  Four people are imprisoned inside them, tubes pumping some kind of black bile into them while their skin is carved away.  But right now I care about just one thing, and none of these people are Raven.  Onwards, through a door that seems to lead into some kind of priest's inner sanctum.  And there's Raven, in one of those machines, and bending over him, about to start connecting tubes, is Mildred.

I've lost my knife, but there's no shortage of weapons in here, if I'm willing to snatch them from practically under Mildred's nose.  My hand closes around a machete as she turns to look at me.  She speaks.  Tells me I'm just like her daughter.  Asks me some questions.  I'm not even listening.  I'm done with questions.  I drive the machete into her side.

She bats me away like I'm nothing but an annoying fly, and the machete is wrenched out of my grasp as I'm flung across the room.  She turns her attention on Beatrice then, asking her to come closer, and Beatrice drops her own knife and starts walking.  I reach for the knife, but something seems to have gone wrong with gravity and I can barely move my legs.  Beatrice is in her grasp now, not even reacting as Mildred cuts into her neck.  The knife falls from my hand.  She's making Beatrice talk now, using her voice to say that yes, of course she wants to sign a pact.

Once I was a soldier.  A Roman legionnaire, armed and armoured, fighting the Britons.  I feel a fragment of that soldier come back to me.  I am a fighter, and I will fight.  Mildred isn't taking Mary, she isn't taking Raven and she sure as fuck isn't taking Beatrice who doesn't deserve any of this.  The machete is lying at her feet.  I force my legs to obey, snatch up the blade and in one movement I slash it across her neck.

Just like when Mary stabbed her.  No blood, just a curl of smoke from the neck wound.  And then she's gone, leaving an after image in smoke before it dissipates too.

Raven.  There's a tube connected and the black bile is moving through it.  I yell at Beatrice to help, and get him out of the machine before whatever it is reaches him.  He's unconscious, but he's alive.  Then I hear Mildred's voice.  She'll be back soon.  And I remember that we're still in hell, even as every terrible thing that Roman legionnaire ever did floods my brain.

And that's when my phone beeps.

Beatrice looks at me in disbelief as I automatically look at the screen.  It's a text from Mary.  Something about a warehouse.  Doesn't matter.  The fact I'm getting a phone signal in hell means we must be very close to our own world.  I text her back.  I'm in hell.  If you know how to help, please help.  It's not long before I get a reply.  She's in a corridor.  She thinks she can find us.  I call her so she can talk us out.  Beatrice and me drag Raven between us, until at last we find her.

There's a hole in the ceiling above us.  It's an effort to get us all through, with Raven unconscious and Mary looking like she's ripped her stitches and maybe caught fire somewhere along the way, but we make it through onto the floor of what looks like some old warehouse.  I don't care where we are though.  All that matters is that Mary did it.  We're back in our world.  Beatrice is going to need a ton of therapy and I don't know what state Raven's going to be in after what he's been through.  But right now, right here, they're safe.

Kult: Broken Walls, episode 5: Breaking Point

There has to be a way out of here.  Places like this get raided.  There'll be some kind of emergency escape route.  I just have to find it.  Into an empty room with a fire escape.  It's locked but I've already got my picks in my hands, and it barely even slows me down.  Down the stairs I can see a bunch of TST officers.  So I go up.  Onto the roof.  There's buildings nearby.  Maybe I can jump.

I'm not alone on the roof.  There's a man sitting there.  Handsome, chizeled, wearing a kimono.  The man the spider creature turned into when he pulled on that second skin.  I keep my eyes on him until I have to look away to make the jump, and when I look back he's gone.  Then I hear a voice behind me.

He offers me answers.  He sure hasn't offered me any so far.  But he can tell me about Lily-Rose, and maybe some answers about her are worth this Hannibal Lector quid pro quo bullshit he wants me to go through.  And now I understand why he went after Beatrice.  Because he's got a contract he wants me to sign, and he says if I sign he'll lay off Beatrice and things will be OK but if I don't he'll tear apart everything I care about.  What's it going to cost me?  Only my soul.

Something snaps in my mind.  I know damn well I should be walking away, but the pen is in my hand and my name is on the paper, and we're not on the roof any more.  We're in an office.  He gives me some real answers about Lily at last.  She's not dead but not exactly alive either.  Her spirit is with Mary.  Her body is in a suitcase under a bed somewhere in Holborn.

Mary.  I need to find her.  She's not exactly on earth as we know it.  But neither am I right now.  There's a lift.  She's on the sixth floor.

The lift door opens.  Mary is there, dripping blood, with Mildred Lawson bending over her trying to make her sign a contract.  No.  I'm not letting Mary make the same mistake I just made.  My first shot goes wide, but the second one takes her between the eyes.  I've got her attention now and she's coming for me.  But at the last moment, Mary stabs her with the pen she's just been handed and she dissipates into mist.

No time to even try to make sense of that.  Mary's got a massive hole in her leg.  She need a hospital right now.  Good thing she's not heavy.  I get her into the lift, press the only button and hope like hell it takes us somewhere else while I try to stop the bleeding with some bandages Mary's torn off her clothes.  The bleeding slows, but the pen she was holding falls from her grasp and somehow sucks up the blood that's dripped onto the floor.  She grabs it, and shoves it and the contract into different pockets.  Then the doors slide open, and we're in a hospital.  I shout for help, and Mary's whisked away.

I've been sitting quietly trying to calm down when I see a familiar face.  Nathan.  Seems he wants to talk.  Seems he's had as bad a day as Mary has.  He suggests we make each other emergency contacts.  Not the worst idea.  He's got a burner phone for Mary as well.  We swap numbers and add them to the new phone.  We need to talk once he's out of here.  I visit Mary to give her the phone and tell her the same thing.  She's too out of it on morphine by then to talk sensibly, but I tell her to call me when she's ready to leave and I'll come and pick her up.

One last bit of business to attend to before then.  Calling Beatrice.  She's ecstatic.  Damian's been revealed as a fraud, and she's getting compensation.  Paying my bill is no longer a problem.  I've probably made the biggest fuck up of my life signing that contract but at least I kept my word to Beatrice.

A few days later I get the call from Mary.  She's still on crutches, so the scooter's no good.  I pick her up in an Uber, and Nathan helps me get her up the stairs to my flat.  It's time to compare notes.  Mary wants to know if Nathan remembers her being part of the cult.  Seems her brother remembers things very differently.  Nathan remembers that there were kids there.  But he's not sure about her.  He doesn't even remember Milly Lawson having children.

I tell them my story.  Finding Lily-Rose, still looking like she did when I last saw her.  Following Damian, which I was doing for work and not being weird, and watching him in the brothel, which again is a totally normal thing I do for work because I follow cheating spouses and sometimes have to take photos of people doing...stuff.  But not ripping their skin off.  Nathan thinks I mean the flayed corpse we saw at Paradise Gardens, so I have to explain about the spider creature.  And that I signed the contract.

Mary thinks she can get more answers if she calls upon her mother.  Not on the phone.  Some other way.  And she gets an answer.  The room turns black.  It's still morning, but it's pitch black, and now I can hear something.  A gurgling, sucking sound coming from the doorway.  What the fuck has she invited into my flat?  I can hear it moving closer.  And then it speaks, using Mary's voice because it has no voice of its own.  Closer.  And now I can see it even in the darkness.  It's Lily-Rose.

Not the way I remember her.  Her throat is slashed and dripping blood, and she's covered in occult looking symbols branded into her skin.  She says we can ask questions, but we have to be fast.  I can barely move, let alone speak.  This is what people mean by paralysed by fear.  One of the others, I don't know who, asks about the contracts.  We shouldn't sign.  She's very clear.  And finally I get my mouth to work.  What happens if I already signed?

Then I'm already damned.

It's several days later when I manage to start pulling some remnant of Isabella May back together.  I look up from my bed and find myself looking at the whiteboard.  A photo of Lily-Rose as I remember her, smiling down at me.  I can't.  Not now.  Take it all down.  Neatly this time.  Everything tidy in a box.  Empty board back on the wall.  Then I survey the rest of the flat.

It's a while since it's been this bad.  I've managed to eat something, but that just means rotting food and flies.  I've managed to get into my pyjamas but not out of them again.  And I've wasted what energy I had dealing with the whiteboard.  Time to bite the bullet and ask for help.  At least Raven can probably get a poem out of this.

Or could, if he was answering my text.  I'm going to have to actually go and knock.  But that means I'm going to have to actually step outside my front door, and right now that seems like the hardest thing in the world.  Wait.  No.  I am Isabella fucking May and I am not going to be defeated by my own goddam front door.

Raven doesn't answer.

Now I'm worried.  Where the fuck are my lockpicks?  I can't handle this alone.  So I text Beatrice.  She's worried too.  Apart from me dropping off the face of the earth, she hasn't seen Raven in two days.  She's on her way.

Mary texts me while I'm waiting.  She wants to meet up again.  She's the last person I want to see right now, but it must be important.  I'll meet her.  So long as she doesn't do that again.

Beatrice arrives and I suddenly realise how this looks.  Raven's dealt with this shit before.  Beatrice has never seen me on a really bad day before, and can't hide her look of disgust.  She asks for the marigolds, throws me a pair, and we get to work.

It doesn't take long.  She cranks up Guns N' Roses while we're working, but when we're done she switches it off and starts asking for an explanation.  What am I supposed to tell her?  That I found Lily, twice, and both of them were wrong?  She's not letting it go.  So I tell her what I can.  That I've met up with some old friends from the cult, and that I'm seeing old cultists everywhere and they're messing with me.  She thinks I should call the police, of course.  That's what I'd tell someone else to do.  I don't know how to explain.  I can tell Nathan and Mary all the crazy shit because they know what's up, but if I tell Beatrice I sold my soul to a spider demon in exchange for her safety she'll have me sectioned.

Finally she realises she's pushing too far and lets it go.  We've got another problem.  Raven.  Beatrice prompts me.  Where do I start with looking for a missing person?  Depends on the person.  A coked-up wannabe poet?  Well, he's a dealer, so there's whoever he buys from, and the people he sells to, any of whom could be pissed off with him for some reason.  Either way, the first place to look is his flat.  Thankfully Beatrice has found my lockpicks and can't wait to see me do my thing.  I ignore the fact she's watching me and take my time.  We're in.

The place has been trashed, and that's really bad.  Raven's even more of a neat freak than I am, and he doesn't have bad days like I do.  What the hell happened here?  Beatrice finds a vinyl record snapped in half.  And then I notice something else.  Scorch marks.  Scorch marks around the mirror.

I don't know what it means.  But I'm sure Raven's in trouble.  And I have to find him.

Kult: Broken Walls, episode 4: Poetry Night

Home.  I carefully undress, hanging up my suit neatly.  Is there any booze left from last night?  No, just empties in the bin.  Fuck.  I manage one last burst of energy, ripping the whiteboard off the wall and throwing it on the floor, then curl up on the bed.  Not even crying.  Just completely numb.

I'm in a hall, surrounded by pillars, all carved with huge stone faces.  I feel tiny in comparison, and try to make myself even smaller, keeping away from those faces.  And I'm doing OK until one of the faces, that of a young man of maybe thirty, opens its eyes, stares right at me and speaks.

"This will cost you."

I should have known last night would catch up with me soon enough.  I didn't mean to sleep.  At least that one wasn't too horrible.  I look at my phone and realise I need to get going if I'm going to make it to Raven's poetry recital.  I throw on some clothes, and after looking at the state of my face in the mirror, add some extra eyeliner to try to cover up the dark circles.  Once my appearance reaches an acceptable level I head out to Mournweald Coffee.

Camden Lock is its usual evening self, with all the sights and smells of the market.  It doesn't take long to spot Raven, pacing up and down in front of the coffee shop in his black trenchcoat.  It takes me a while to work myself up to approaching him and in that time he spots me.  He doesn't seem to think there's anything wrong, and in the end I just have to blurt it out.  How does he know Lily?

He looks as confused as I am.  He swears he didn't send that text, didn't have his phone on all day, even though the text is right there on our phones.  I tell him I found Lily, and yeah, he gets that that's a big deal and the fact I'm not celebrating means something's badly wrong.  I'm struggling to get words out, but manage to tell him the bit about her not aging.

He takes my arm and leads me inside, promising me coffee, and I'm starting to think maybe it won't be so bad until I see two women sitting in the shop.  Lily - Lilian, I guess I should call her now - and Rachel.  I try to avoid looking at them, but Raven clocks the look they're giving me, and I explain who they are.  He steers me to the counter where Beatrice is waiting for us.  How many espresso shots am I allowed in one cup?  She gets the nod from Raven.  One Izzy special coming up.

Raven tells me stories to take my mind off things, until he suddenly stops, looking over my shoulder.  It's Lilian and Rachel, there to give me an earful about my actions at the school leading to Rachel getting fired.  I don't know what she wants from me, but she's soon escalating to threatening my PI license and finally leaves in disgust.  I feel like shit.  I never meant for Rachel to get into trouble.

Raven asks what he can do.  Stay with me.  That's enough.  I work my way through a latte glass full of espresso while he gets up and does his show.  A bunch of interminably long poems about ravens and sleep and nightmare.  Sounds like a load of crap to me but what do I know?  The rest of the audience loves it.  When it's finally over, Beatrice shuts up shop and we head to the Dev.  Lilian and Rachel don't follow, thank god.  A couple of hours in the Dev and then a few more back at Raven's flat with his collection of vinyl and pharmaceuticals and things don't seem so bad.

I'm back in Paradise Gardens.  Back in the bunk room.  Lily's there.  No, Lilian's there, with Rachel.  And they're so tall and I'm so small and they're towering over me, shouting, telling me I'm useless, not fooling anyone, a worthless little maggot.  And the smaller I try to make myself, the bigger and louder and closer they get until they're all I can see and hear.

I have to get away.  Crawl through their legs and escape.  But I put out my hand and it closes on wet bloody flesh.  I look up to see the flayed corpse.  No.  No.  Not this again.  Already that monstrous black tongue is extending from a mouth that's distending as it opens wider.  I can't run.  The two women still taunt me.  And the thing is getting closer.

No.  This is a dream.  I don't know how to wake up but I don't have to stay here.  I close my eyes and try to find my way to the safe place.  I open them again and I'm there.  It resembles my own flat.  Bigger than the real one, illuminated in a strange blue light that deepens every shadow.  Wallpapered in scrolls covered in Raven's poetry written in gold ink.  And where the whiteboard should be, a mass of wriggling maggots dripping onto the floor.

I grip the hammer I'm holding and try to smash them.  Instead I stumble and fall face first in the wriggling mass, feeling them squelching against my skin.  And then I'm awake, for real this time, on Raven's floor.  He's made it to the bed this time and Beatrice is snoring in a chair.  A single maggot falls out of my hair and plops onto the floor.  I stamp on it, then get some tissue to clean it up.

My own flat is a mess.  I pick up the whiteboard and hang it up again, and start trying to reassemble everything.  Some things are broken, but in the end I think I've got the key items back in place.  Then I add the coffee shop, and Lilian and Rachel.  I've just finished when there's a knock at the door.  It's Beatrice.

She looks even rougher than I feel.  I don't think she's tried whatever shit Raven gave us last night before.  But that's not why she's here.  She wants to know my rates.  I hand her a flyer and put the kettle on.

I'm not cheap.  But that hasn't put her off.  I sit her down, hand her a coffee, and ask for the whole story.  Some arsehole from the FSA showed up for an inspection, and claimed she had rat droppings and maggots.  He had photos.  Real ones so the fucker probably planted shit to get his 'evidence'.  He offered to make the problem go away, for a price she can't afford.

I tell her I understand.  I'll check the guy out, see what I can dig up.  Beatrice runs a good business and shouldn't have to deal with this shit.  She gives me his name - Damian, and when I ask for a photo, a printout from the security cameras.  I take a good look at the guy, and realise that I recognise him.  There were a bunch of runners in the cult, basically there to do errands.  He was one of them.  And just like Lily he hasn't aged a day in the last twenty years.

Beatrice can see my shock.  She's not used to seeing this much emotion from me, but then she normally sees me on a bad day, or meeting clients.  I explain that I've seen the guy before, but assure her it's not a problem.  He's not a friend.  Of course I'll take the job.  We take some time just to talk about last night's show.  At least I'm not the only person who doesn't get the appeal of Raven's poetry.

I start with the standard social media trawl.  Nothing much there.  Forty or so friends on facebook, none of whom seem to interact much.  No photos older than about three years.  Enough for me to trace his address though.  Time to get out the scooter and do my favourite part of the job.  He's an easy mark.  I hang around outside while he takes a pub lunch.  Then he's on the move again, to some dingy abandoned shop front.  He heads inside.  I take a look around and this place is boarded up tight.  Back door bolted beyond anything I can handle, windows all blacked out.  The buzzer at the front is the only way in.  I'm going to have to try it.

A male voice answers the buzzer.  I ask for Damian.  Nobody of that name, but would I like to come in?  I don't know what I'm walking into.  Not until I've actually walked into the plush environment and met the host in his high heels and feathers.  Well this is going to be awkward.  I let him escort me to the bar.  At least I'm looking authentically nervous for a first time visitor.  I take a seat, order a drink that I have no intention of drinking, and take a look around.  No sign of Damian.  He's got to be here somewhere.  How am I going to get further in?  I don't think Beatrice is going to cover this kind of expense, even if I wasn't freaked out by the idea.

There's a guy in a booth staring daggers at one of the dancers.  He looks pretty drunk.  Could be convinced to cause a distraction.  I pull out my phone, stand by his booth, and have a conversation about how he couldn't find it with a map and his stamina wasn't up to much either.  He launches himself at the dancer, security descends upon him, and in the confusion I dive through the door.

Slight problem.  I can see Damian at the top of the stairs.  If he turns round he'll see me.  If I wait any longer someone's going to find me.  I just have to take the chance that he doesn't know my face and just act normal as I head up the stairs.  And it works.  I see him go through a door, and after checking I'm not being watched, I go to listen at the door.  Of course there's a peephole.  So I watch.

He's in there alone, undressing.  But then he seems to start having some kind of seizure.  For a moment I think I should be helping him, but then his mouth splits open and some long black sinewy shape emerges; long spindly appendages and a head with eight gleaming eyes.  His skin peels away as my heart starts pounding in my chest, and all I can do is stare at this bipedal spider creature standing there.  It reaches under the bed and pulls out a suitcase.  It takes out another skin.  Is it putting it on?  And is that sirens I can hear outside?

The Three (Thirsty) Musketeers, episode 5: The Finale

The three musketeers chased after Lady Blanche and the hooded lady, and were just in time to see them going into a town house belonging to Duchess Selina - the one who witnessed Renée's not-quite-duel in the park with Patience.  They took a moment to catch their breath.  Arsene apologised to Katerina for turning her down quite so forcefully, and Katerina assured him that that was completely fine.  But then they saw someone else arrive at the house.  Queen Louise.

They needed to get into that house and find Blanche.  Renée suggested the traditional method of climbing over a back wall, and soon they spotted Blanche inside being plied with champagne by the mysterious hooded lady, now no longer hooded.

If they were going to get inside, they would need some disguises, blood-spattered musketeer uniforms being a little inappropriate for a fancy party.  Renée seduced a couple of party-goers in the gardens, efficiently separating them from their dresses to give Arsene the chance to swipe them.  Arsene himself located a spare servant's uniform, and the three of them got dressed.

A random party-goer, mistaking Arsene for the butler he was dressed at, handed him a note to deliver to the Queen.  Arsene read it at the first possible opportunity.  It was to tell the Queen that Lady Blanche was there.  He substituted it for a note of his own saying that Lady Blanche was with the Cardinal and that he wished to meet with the Queen, and handed it to one of the Queen's footwomen to deliver.  The Queen immediately gave her apologies and left the party.

Renée and Katerina went to find Blanche.  Renée flung open the door, and dramatically accused Blanche of abandoning her when they were supposed to be meeting in the gardens.  While everyone's attention was on Renée, Katerina slipped inside, grabbed a champagne bottle and hit the hooded lady over the head with it.

While Renée fled with Blanche, Katerina shared an appraising look with the hooded lady, then made her own exit via the balcony, leaping down into the fountain.  Arsene was hot on her trail, intercepting the hooded lady and attempting to convince her that he was still working for the Cardinal.  He asked for a report to pass along.  She said Blanche didn't say much beyond that Blanche knew where the Duchess of Buckingham was.

The three musketeers gathered again, along with Blanche and Monique, and took a carriage to Katerina's lodgings, Renée having finally had enough of her place being used like a public house.  Blanche was very drunk, insisting that she didn't tell the nice lady where the Duchess was in a way that didn't convince anyone.  Katerina was somewhat discheveled from her dive into the fountain, and scandalised everyone by discarding a series of torn items of clothing out of the window along the way.

They arrived at Katerina's lodgings to find Jussac waiting.  She was initially very happy to see the by now almost entirely disrobed Katerina, but somewhat less happy when the other four got out of the carriage, particularly Arsene who she still wanted to arrest.  Katerina lead her off for a private talk.  Jussac said it was either going to be Arsene's head or hers in a noose.  Katerina convinced her that there was another way: help them take down the Cardinal.  Together they hatched a plan.

Renée had been planning to talk to Katerina about Monique's interest in her, but seeing her head inside with Jussac realised Monique wasn't anywhere in Katerina's view.  She sat down with Monique to explain to her that if Katerina was going to settle down with anyone, it was going to be Jussac.  Monique was very upset, and Renée assured her that she knew how she felt.  Monique was surprised.  How did Renée know how it felt to love someone who didn't love her back?  Who was it that she loved?  And Renée was forced to admit that it was Monique.

Arsene looked after Blanche, getting her a coffee and somewhere to lie down as she started to sober up.  He explained to her that he wasn't really working for the Cardinal, but that nice lady she'd just been sharing all her secrets with was.  Blanche rapidly sobered up, suddenly realising how much danger the Duchess was in.  They had to get her to her meeting with Queen Anne.  Arsene didn't think the palace was a safe meeting place, but remembered a particularly discreet venue from his highwayman days where the meeting could take place.  Moved by Arsene's obvious sincerity, Blanche found it within herself to forgive him his past crimes against her family.

They had to act fast, if they were going to both incriminate the Cardinal and save the Duchess.  Katerina went straight to the palace to talk to Queen Louise.  She delivered an impassioned speech on the Cardinal's plotting against the crown, and how the Queen needed to witness his betrayal for herself.  And the Queen was persuaded to go with her.

Arsene and Renée took Monique with them to find the Duchess, but arrived at her safe house to find the Cardinal's guards already there and preparing for an ambush.  Renée spotted Patience, and remembering the way she'd looked at her in the park, realised this would make a great distraction.  She taunted Patience into a repeat of the earlier duel, a fight that rapidly turned to kissing.

With most eyes on Renée and Patience, Arsene slipped into the building and soon convinced the Duchess of the urgency of departure.  But Jussac was on his tail, still hoping to take him down as the Cardinal considered him a loose end.  He got Monique and the Duchess to freedom, but was forced to turn to face Jussac, fending her off for just long enough to make a dramatic escape.

Renée finally let go of Patience, who was coming to realise that Renée didn't really like her that way.  Patience tried to convince her to renounce the Hapsburg Queen.  Renée wasn't sure, insisting that her loyalty was to France.  And then a flash of red caught their attention.  The Cardinal was there.  Would Renée swear on the Bible to renounce the Hapsburg Queen?

The Cardinal's Bible.  The one where he hid all his secret documents.  The proof that they needed to convince Queen Louise of his treachery.  Renée grabbed the Bible and ran.

Guards pursued her, but found themselves slowed by a sudden swirl of a cape as Arsene leapt down from the roof, breaking his leg as he landed but still slowing them down enough for Renée to keep running.  And then Katerina was there, leaping out of the bushes, rampaging like a wild animal, knocking guards out of the way as she ran to intercept the Cardinal.  And suddenly Renée was face to face with Queen Louise, thrusting the incriminating Bible into her hands.

Everything went still as she leafed through the papers within.

And here we leave our three musketeers.  Perhaps Katerina will find happiness with Jussac, now free of the Cardinal's influence.  Perhaps Renée, now finally sure that she made the right choice leaving the convent, will win Monique's heart.  Perhaps Arsene will find peace knowing that at least some of his sins have been forgiven and he has two true friends at his side no matter what.  But for now, their story is at a close.

Kult: Broken Walls, episode 3: Back to School

Chow mein for everyone.  Seems like the easiest option.  Nathan picks up some drinks but I'm not touching them.  The last thing I want is to get sleepy.  Mary looks shifty when we get back but my whiteboard looks fine.  I just want to get this meal over with and see Raven.

He opens the door even before I can knock, buzzing so hard he's practically vibrating.  Do I want some?  Yes, of course I want some of whatever supercharged amphetamine he's got his hands on, because trying to skip an entire night's sleep was such a great idea last time.  And the time before.  Yeah.  Go on then.

It's not long before I'm spilling out the whole story of last night's nightmare.  Of course he can only restrain himself for a few minutes before reaching for his moleskine to start taking notes.  By the time I finish he's actually got his guitar down and is strumming chords.  All the same, I feel better.  It's good to know someone is listening.

Of course I fell asleep when the speed wore off.  Just rested my eyes for a moment, and then it's morning and I've got shit to do.  I go into the bathroom to splash some water on my face.  When I look up again there's something behind me in the mirror.  A corpse.  Flayed and bloody.  And with a long black tongue emerging from its mouth and reaching out for me.

I find myself screaming and scrambling to get out of the room, somehow get past that monster.  And then I'm back leaning against Raven's bed with him asleep beside me.  No monster.  Just another nightmare.  Except there's a trail of blood drops leading from the bathroom to where I'm sitting.  I check the bathroom.  I check myself for injuries.  Nothing.  All the same I don't feel safe here any more.  I drape the duvet over Raven and go back to my own flat.

Mary's still there, sleeping on the floor in her sleeping bag.  I let her sleep.  I've got to get ready.  Today I'm visiting some fancy school and that means putting my professional face on, including not looking like I'm coming down from whatever Raven gave me.  By the time I'm ready Mary's waking up.  She's got a request, and after abandoning her with Nathan last night I'm feeling like I should help her.

She wants to know about some weird herb thing.  Rosemary gathered by white sickle light, then something about burning it thrice times three.  It takes some time and yet another cup of coffee goes cold while I'm searching but finally I get what she wants.  It's some pagan thing she wants to try to help Nathan remember stuff from the cult.  I guess anything any of us can learn is going to be helpful.  Rosemary sprigs picked by the light of a crescent moon.  There's a shop in Camden Lock market that sells stuff like that: Maiden, Mother and Crone.  Raven gets his candles there.  I give her directions and she's on her way.  I'd like to make sure she's alright, but I've got the best lead I've had on Lily Rose in years and I've got to take it.

I put on my best telephone voice and call the school.  The perky receptionist Rachel seems to buy my story that I'm researching the school's history, but the moment I ask about records, her attitude changes.  She's following protocol.  I need to give her a reason to break it.  So I tell her I'm a private detective investigating a kidnapping case.  Not that far from the truth, after all, and it works.  I give her my own name - no harm if she searches and finds my website after all.  And sure, my website does register one more view.

Rachel says she can let me in but otherwise insists that I'm on my own, handing me an incomplete visitor badge and telling me where to meet her on her break.  I follow her directions and immediately run into her sister.  I have to show her the incomplete visitor badge, and manage to convince her it was just an error, but I'm not going to be on Rachel's good side after she gets a dressing down from her sister.

It's easy enough to find the records room, but waiting for Rachel no longer seems like a good idea.  I'm just going to have to break in.  The lock's new and I have to pick it properly instead of a quick bump, but I'm in.  There's a row of computers and shelves of binders.  I'm looking for stuff from nearly thirty years ago, so I take the paper files first.  I soon find the right folder with a list of pupils on the cover, including Webb, L.  Inside there's just a note saying that the records have been digitised.  Shit.

I snap a picture of the folder and head for the computers.  No post-it with the password, but the underlined name on a bust of the school's founder does the job.  I plug in a USB stick, put in the appropriate search parameters and find...nothing.  Did I get something wrong?  I try again, different variations, different years, whatever.  Nothing.  And then finally I get a hit.  On the teacher's database.  Lilian Rose Webb.  She's a TA.  She's in an RE class right now.

I should leave, I tell myself as I put the room back how I found it.  I should wait until school is over and everyone is leaving, I tell myself as I lock the door and walk towards the RE classroom.  Nobody stops me.  I look through the window, past the teacher to the TA.  It's her.  It's her, but she hasn't changed.  She hasn't aged a day since I last saw her, over twenty years ago.

I've made a mistake.  I must have. I don't know how I fucked this one up so badly.  I'm going to leave. but then there's a voice behind me.  I know her voice.  Lily?  I ask.  She says she goes by Lilian at work to be professional.  Does she know me?  I don't know.  I don't know anything any more.  I don't even know how to answer.  I hand her my business card.  She smiles, and says one word.  Peachy.  And at once I can see her back at Paradise Gardens, over and over, smiling at me and saying that same word.

It's nice to meet you, Miss May, she says.  You too, I tell her.  But she has to get back to work.

I'm leaving.  I'm going home.  I need to find Raven.  He's got to have something that'll fuck me up enough to stop thinking for a while.

Then on the bus I get a text.  It's Raven.

And fair morrow to my splendiferous muse! After our conversation last night I have composed not one but three new poems and have convinced Beatrice to let me perform them in her establishement this evening - Lily has already promised to be in attendance, can I count on you blessing me with your presence as well?

What the fuck?  What the actual fuck is he playing at?

The Three (Thirsty) Musketeers, episode 4: Lady Blanche

We left our heroes on their way back to Renée's lodgings to get her some replacement trousers, but on arriving learned that she had a visitor.  Renée complained about her lodgings practically being a public house by this point, and they peered through the keyhole to see who it was.  Lady Blanche.

Lady Blanche had come to see Renée, and was not at all happy to see Arsene.  To the point of slapping him.  As she poured out every offence he had committed against her family, a litany ranging from grave robbing to leaving her to pay a large bill, the other two found themselves rather shocked to discover just what depths Arsene had sunk to before becoming a musketeer.  Katerina joined in with slapping him in the face.  Renée made profuse apologies to Lady Blanche, but refused her offer of forgiveness if she agreed to stop associating with Arsene.

Finally the fight was defused to the point where Lady Blanche was willing to have the conversation she'd come for.  She was quite convinced that Monique was the one who'd betrayed her to the Cardinal.  Renée did not think her capable of such a thing.  A plan was hatched, with the aim of both discrediting the Cardinal and determining Monique's loyalty.  Arsene would tell the Cardinal that messages were being passed inside clocks made by a certain favourite clockmaker of the Queens by the name of Renault.  Katerina would tell Monique that a planned meeting was to take place at a tannery rather than the intended location.  If the Cardinal's forces showed up there, they would know that Monique could not be trusted.

Katerina and Arsene left the room, while Renée stayed behind to talk with Lady Blanche.  She defending her association with Arsene.  The motto of one for all and all for one meant too much to her for her to turn her back on her friend.  Lady Blanche had a job for her.  What was it?  Something to do with talking to the Queen to explain things?  But all Renée could think of was Lady Blanche's beautiful eyes.

Katerina had been intending to wait for Renée to join her, as for some reason she didn't seem to want Katerina to talk to Monique alone, but soon became aware that she was taking rather a long time over things.  She listened at the door, and then found a gap where she could sneak a look into the room.  She was on the point of ripping the door open to join them when Arsene intervened.  She should let Renée have her moment.

Katerina's response was to turn her attentions to Arsene instead, dragging him off into another room.  However, he insisted very strongly on keeping his trousers on, firmly stating his complete lack of interest in any such activities, and ultimately Katerina was left alone and disappointed while Arsene left to talk to the Cardinal.

While Arsene made a convincing case for investigating the clockmaker to the Cardinal, with the additional detail of Renée and Blanche being an item, Renée finally emerged from her lodgings in a fresh pair of trousers to find Katerina sitting morosely on the stairs with a bottle of wine.  They went together to visit Monique, and had no trouble convincing her of the story about the meeting at the tannery.  She also wanted a word with Renée alone.  It seemed she had a bit of a thing for Katerina, and wanted to know if Renée thought Katerina would ever consider settling down.

Arsene went home after visiting the Cardinal, and found Adrian there.  He had a job for the Cardinal that he thought Arsene might like to join in with: relocating some aristocrat to be under the control of the Cardinal.  Arsene decided to go along with it, knowing that he'd be in just the right place to make sure Lady Blanche was safe if she did turn out to be the target.

As Arsene arrived at the house, he was being watched.  Monique had gone to look for Lady Blanche after meeting with Katerina and Renée, and was watching him as he arrived, immediately jumping to the worst possible conclusion.  But she was also being watched, by the mysterious hooded lady who had paid Katerina's bar bill.  Who in turn was being watched by Katerina.

Monique went running in after Arsene.  Katerina and Renée followed her in, counting on their flair for dramatic entrances to disrupt any trouble.  And trouble there was, with Arsene fighting Adrian, the thugs attacking Monique, and Lady Blanche attempting to escape out of a window.  But none of them were a match for the three musketeers working together, and soon the thugs were taken out and Monique was safe once more.

Lady Blanche, however, had made it out of the window, and into the arms of the mysterious hooded lady, with whom she was rapidly departing.