Wednesday 6 September 2023

Wicker Valley, episode 17: Wibbly Wobbly Timey Wimey

Rusty could tell I wasn't telling him everything, but it's not like he could actually get me to talk. He did ask to talk later on, somewhere else. I didn't answer, but I knew I would. He's my brother, even when he's an arsehole, and I need to know what's going on with the family.

Then he said something about his day pass running out, and went over to talk to one of the Whisper Sisters who looked significantly younger than we remembered. While Alabaster ran off for some urgent appointment elsewhere, there was some frantic googling to make sure that Hitler was still dead and so forth. Things seemed largely unaltered, beyond that Robin had an email about a house for sale. The construction site was now a fully built housing estate.

We needed to have a look. As we walked down the street in the middle of Wicker Valley, things were different. Nicer, somehow. And there was a brand new shop that none of us had seen before. The Witch's Hut.

Well, Agnes did say we'd meet again.

It had all the usual crystals and incense you'd expect to find in a tourist town new age shop, but as Elizabeth noted, some actual real stuff as well. I'd made it very clear to Elizabeth, to avoid future incidents, that all my family were bad and none of them could be trusted, or told secrets or anything like that. Of course we were now going to see Agnes again, and she was...a bit different. But better that than have her flirting with Rusty.

I think it was around then she let slip about having died before. "You what?" I asked. She deflected, but I wanted to know. Was she a zombie? She said no, and of course that was a ridiculous idea. With her skills she's clearly a lich.

Anyway, we had a lovely chat with Agnes and Mary, who caught us up on a few things. They now had a ward up around the whole town to keep demons and fae out - with a few exceptions, of course, including the Whisper Sisters of all people, who were apparently fae. Hence why Rusty had needed a day pass.

Quite a few of the events we remembered now hadn't happened, including the Halloween incident and all the trouble with the coin. Gillian now barely knew who we were, and given everything that she'd gone through in our timeline that seemed like it was for the best. Also in this timeline I apparently owned the Wicker Stop instead of just working there, and the family had given up on the name Agnes for their matriarchs and started calling us Agatha instead. Better, but I still think I would have changed it to Scarlet. Far more me.

 More worrying was when the subject of doppelgangers came up, and they said they'd found one outside the town and killed it. This seemed bad. Elizabeth certainly thought so.

I was getting a headache. Doctor Who really had not prepared me for this kind of thing.

They'd left a present for Robin on the edge of town, and we were all curious to see what it was, but first there was the matter of the coin. Agnes and Mary were interested, and keen to get their hands on it to improve the town's ward, but having seen what happened last time, we had concerns. We went back to Adam's junkyard, which fortunately was just as he left it, and got in the oubliette. There was still a remnant of dust from grinding up the coin, but on being moved out of the oubliette, it disappeared.

We needed to get that coin to safety, and fast. So we piled into Vanessa the Batvan and drove to the church, as Michael was sure he'd left it there. I waited outside the crypt, just in case I had to persuade Michael to leave again, and because I wasn't in the mood for itching. But as Michael was retrieving the coin, and the others were admiring the refurb job he'd apparently done down there according to Vicar Todd (and what had happened to Vicar Matthews?) I realised I'd stepped over the threshold. And I wasn't itching. Was something wrong with the church? Except the others were more worried that Michael was stroking an invisible cat.

Michael wanted to check out the belfry, given the strange things he'd seen there before. I followed him up to check out the stone faces. And there, while Michael was in some kind of trance, a small stone creature that I just know I'm going to end up calling a gargoyle for want of a better name even though he totally wasn't a gutter spout, introduced himself as Toby. He was quite cute really. And not trying to kill me, which was nice.

We left the belfry. I don't know what was up with Michael. Or the belfry, which also was not making me itch. Had someone deconsecrated the place?

Back at the junkyard, Adam made a case for the coin so Michael could wear it, in the shape of the Witcher coin thing so anyone seeing it would just assume he was a massive nerd. Adam also thought we should keep a record of our own timeline to make sure we didn't forget it over time, and I happened to have this diary I'd been writing. He took photos. I told him not to look at some bits because it was embarrassing but he looked anyway. Well, at least it wasn't Michael reading it.

Out of town then, and past the Wicker Stop, now named Scarlet's Wicker Stop. Well done, alternate timeline me. It looked really nice. And also hadn't had a recent gunfight outside.

Robin followed the GPS to the spot Agnes and Mary had given, and there was Adam's friend James in a cage with some other guy in a Foundation suit berating him. Robin tried to kill the other man, Elizabeth got involved, so did Michael and Adam, and I...I could have ripped him apart with my bare hands, but instead I went over to the cage and bent the bars to let James out. He was Adam's friend, and last time I saw him one of the Foundation had tried to kill him. It seemed like the right thing to do. Also he apparently had a special weapon to give to Michael.

Anyway, the other man turned out to be the werewolf who'd killed Robin's friend, but Robin was talked out of killing him. Michael got his special weapon, which looked like a cricket bat with obsidian blades attached. James said we had to stop the witches, who were combining demonic and fae powers, leading to creatures without the usual weaknesses.

We walked back to town. I stopped off for a moment to talk to Toby who was hanging out in the trees. Something weird happened again. I popped the wings to fly up, but then found myself already up in the branches. The same thing happened on the way down.

So now we knew the current state of Wicker Valley. Caught in a fight between the Foundation and Aunty Agnes, neither of which seemed to be wholely good or bad. And once again, it was going to be us who had to sort it out.

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