Wednesday, 26 January 2022

The Three (Thirsty) Musketeers, episode 3: The Plot Thickens

When we left our heroes, Katerina had been detained by Jussac, Arsene had allowed himself to be taken by the Cardinal's guards in order to allow Renée to pursue Monique, and Renée...

The carriage was already moving, and swift as Renée was she couldn't outrun a horse. Instead she took to side streets and alleyways too narrow for a carriage. The driver and guard began to relax as they easily outdistanced her and were soon approaching the Bastille, only for Renée to appear on the roof of a nearby building, leap down onto the carriage roof, grab the driver and throw him out of his seat, grab the reins and start driving the carriage herself, all while delivering an impassioned speech on the subject of justice that left the guard spluttering too much to do anything about what had just happened.

 She brought the carriage to a halt at a construction site, jumped down and opened the door to see a second angry guard. In a moment she was away, climbing the scaffolding with the two guards in hot pursuit, neither of them noticing Monique slipping away from the other side of the carriage. At last, by pushing over the ladder they were climbing at a critical moment, Renée was away. She soon met up with Monique, and swept her into her arms to kiss her, only to then have to back off again in embarrassment.

Meanwhile, Arsene had been taken to see Cardinal Richlieu. There was a long silence before the Cardinal turned to Arsene, indicated a wanter poster on the wall, and noted that he had something of a chequered past. Arsene acknowledged this, and noted that it was a particularly good wanted poster and he didn't have that one yet.

The Cardinal got down to business, bringing a certain Lady Blanche. A familiar name to Arsene, who had previously dug up two of her close relatives to sell their corpses to resurrectionists. The Cardinal's request was simply. Find out where she is, and what she's up to.

What better way could Arsene find to persuade the Cardinal to trust him? Throw in that wanted poster, and they had a deal.

Katerina found herself taken not to any kind of prison, but to Jussac's own lodgings, still in restraints. Jussac wanted to know about the letters. Did she have to beat it out of Katerina? Also, what was her safe word? After agreeing on 'banana', the interrogation continued.

Afterwards, having resisted the urge to steal Jussac's Bible, Katerina convinced Jussac to open up about what she really wanted. A big score. Something that would make the Cardinal trust her again. Or else enough money that she could retire. The problem remained of what Jussac was going to do with Katerina now. She couldn't exactly just let her go, but she did need to get back to work. Katerina suggested tying her up again, so Jussac would know exactly where she was.

Renée wanted to take Monique straight back to her lodgings, but Monique insisted that she first had to deliver a message. They went to a hotel, where Monique was taken inside and Renée immediately pressed her ear to the door. Monique was meeting with Lady Blanche, and the message was that Queen Anne was ready to meet with Buckingham, one of the most powerful people in England.

After the meeting, they returned to Renée's lodgings, and met up again with Arsene. They were just sitting down for some breakfast when Katerina also joined them, clad in nothing but a bedsheet and her hat. Monique's reaction to meeting Guiton was not enthusiastic, and soon the two were shouting at each other until the three musketeers managed to calm things down again.

With both Arsene and Renée both not feeling at their best, the three of them stepped away from the breakfast table for a catch-up and a friendly chat. Katerina reassured Arsene that he was a good musketeer, and assured Renée that her faith was strong enough that she didn't need a Bible (although she was still going to get her a replacement.) Arsene loaned her one of his spares; a slightly musty copy that he'd 'found' in a church, but nevertheless with all the right words in. Renée prayed with him on the subject of forgivenness. Everyone hugged, leaving Renée rather flustered by Katerina's attentions but otherwise everyone felt much better.

Those letters still had to be dealt with, and also the three of them had been summoned for an audience with Queen Louise. This seemed like an opportunity to get Monique back into the palace to deliver the letters back to Queen Anne. Despite a distraction on the way in, when Renée was challenged to a duel, they made it inside. Unfortunately, Monique had somehow misinterpreted their instructions and was well on the way to getting intercepted. Arsene went to deal with it.

The other two were brought in front of the Queen, and soundly berated. Katerina assured her that she had our support and she would hunt down traitors, while giving the Cardinal some significant looks. Renée gave a rather more sincere apology, making the same promise. Both of them did their best to cover for Arsene's absence.

Arsene made it in front of Queen Anne and was able to return the letters. She wasn't particularly impressed to learn that the contents of the letters were known to people other than her, or by Arsene questioning her about the meeting with Buckingham, but did assure him that her goal was to bring peace to France.

With all three of them out of the palace again, there was just one thing to deal with: Renée's duel with Patience. They went along to the agreed meeting place, where Katerina soon spotted guards clearly placed to arrest anyone taking part in the illegal activity of duelling. Renée, entirely unwilling to forfeit either her honour or her freedom, taunted Patience into attacking first, although that first blow hit only Renée's trousers, exposing rather more skin than anyone considered decent and arousing something of a blush on Patience's face. Renée continued to defend herself, while the others made sure a nearby duchess was getting a good view of how Renée totally wasn't responsible for the fight.

Finally, with a flick of her sword, Renée disarmed Patience, bringing the fight to an end. She bowed deeply, completely destroying her trousers, and departed wrapped in Arsene's cape to preserve what was left of her modesty.

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