Dolphin and Octopus: Ride

And just like that, fate gives me a brand new episode...

GM: It's a moray eel.
Dolphin: Oh no!  Those can kill you in one bite!
Octopus: I don't want to fight that!  Wait...can I grapple it?
GM: Bonus per tentacle.  Go for it.
Octopus: <rolls dice> Critical success!  I grab onto the back of its head so I'm out of reach of its mouth.
GM: It thrashes about, trying to shake you off.  Make a ride check.
Octopus: Oh dear, I really didn't think this through.  No ranks in ride...wait, my per tentacle bonus applies to ride as well.  <rolls dice>  Hell yeah!
GM: <sighs> You effortlessly ride the moray.  Now what?
Octopus: I'm going to have to get away somehow.
Dolphin: How about your jet propulsion feat?
Octopus: Perfect!  And I can add my ink cloud ability to that as a free action to prevent the moray's attack of opportunity and gain a stealth bonus as I escape.
Dolphin: <singing> When you learn you can ride and your ink lets you hide, that's a moray.
GM: I hate you both.

Incredible footage of an octopus riding a moray eel to avoid its attack and then escaping in a cloud of ink. https://t.co/0Wt7vTMpIn pic.twitter.com/tOZooQcZBr

— Wonder of Science (@wonderofscience) September 1, 2020

Dolphin and Octopus: Exotic Weapon Proficiency

Back in the days of Google+ I used to write up news stories involving certain sea creatures as if they were playing an RPG. Since its demise I've written one more of these...

GM: So your new level gets you an exotic weapon proficiency. What are you going to take?
Octopus: Jellyfish.
GM: ...
Octopus: The damage isn't very good but the poison save is horrific.

The first account of a scientist getting slapped by a jellyfish-wielding octopus occurred in the prestigious journal Science in 1963 when a young blanket octopus used a man-o-war to sting the author, resulting in the paper below. https://t.co/HqTnI9hfwa pic.twitter.com/oh2aaLjvtJ

— Open Ocean Exploration (@RebeccaRHelm) June 18, 2020

GM: I could argue that that's a siphonophore, not a jelly, but fine. Dolphin, have you picked your new perform skill yet? Dolphin? Dolphin!
Dolphin: Oh, uh, yeah, uh, I pick jellyfish.
GM: You weren't paying attention, were you?
Dolphin: I was!
GM: So you really want a perfom skill of jellyfish?
Dolphin: Yes! Yes...I'm...I'm going to juggle them.

Dophin and Octopus: Criticals

Back in the days of Google+ I used to write up news stories involving certain sea creatures as if they were playing an RPG.  I'm digging them out of the archive for a second outing.  May include harm to animals.

GM: You see a sea creature approaching
Octopus: I make a knowledge nature check.
GM: You recognise it as a pilot whale, but it looks a bit small.  Probably a juvenile.
Dolphin: Not a killer whale then?
Octopus: No, not a killer whale.  It is a kind of dolphin though.
Dolphin: A dolphin? I'm gonna make friends!
Octopus: Again? <facetentacle>
Dolphin: I'm gonna give it a hug!
Octopus: You can't do that, Dolphin.
Dolphin: Why not?  You're always hugging things.
Octopus: I have tentacles!  All you have is flippers.
Dolphin: I'll hug it with my mouth!
GM: Make an attack role.
Dolphin: <rolls dice> Natural twenty.  Oops.
GM: Here's a card for the critical.
Dolphin: It says 'Mangled fin."
Octopus: There's a card for that?
GM: I picked up a special critical deck for cetaceans after what happened last time.
Octopus: Good call.
Dolphin: <rolls dice> Oh god, max damage as well.
GM: The pilot whale makes its roll versus stranding. <rolls dice> Failed.
Dolphin: Hey, Octopus, you've got the "Walking" feat!  You can go and bring it back, right?
Octopus: Have you seen my strenth stat?  That thing's bigger than you!
Dolphin: I've killed it, haven't I?
GM: Make a luck roll.
Dolphin: <rolls dice> Seventy-three.
GM: <consults table> OK, the pilot whale is found by humans.
Dolphin: Hooray!
GM: Who mercy kill it.
Dolphin: <cries>

Dolphins suspected in whale attack off Skye - BBC News

Dolphin and Octopus: Photography

Back in the days of Google+ I used to write up news stories involving certain sea creatures as if they were playing an RPG.  I'm digging them out of the archive for a second outing.

GM: It's time to level up.
Dolphin: Hey, what are you putting your new skills points in?
Octopus: Photography.
Dolphin: You what?
Octopus: Photography.  I'm going to be a photographer.
GM: Are you sure that's a good idea?
Octopus: You remember that time I stole a video camera?
Dolphin: Yes, how did you make a 35 grapple check?
Octopus: Bonus per tentacle.
Dolphin: Oh yeah.
Octopus: Anyway, you remember how I tried to take a video of the diver, and the GM said that I got all my tentacles in front of the lens because I don't have any points in photography?
Dolphin: Yeah?
Octopus: Never again!

Octopus steals camera, then snaps photos of the photographer

Watch An Adorable Octopus Photographer In Action

Dolphin and Octopus: Knowledge: Nature

Back in the days of Google+ I used to write up news stories involving certain sea creatures as if they were playing an RPG.  I'm digging them out of the archive for a second outing.  May include harm to animals.
 

GM: You see an orca approaching.
Octopus: I make a knowledge: nature check.  <rolls dice>  OK, orcas are a kind of dolphin...
Dolphin: It's a dolphin?  I'm gonna make friends!
Octopus: Erm, hold on a minute.
Dolphin: This is gonna be awesome!
Octopus: That thing is two size categories bigger than you!  And there's also the other name...
Dolphin: I roll diplomacy.
GM: OK.
Dolphin: Did it work?
GM: The orca makes its attack role.
Dolphin: You what?
GM: And it applies its knockback attack feat.
Dolphin: What's going on?
Octopus: If you'd waited a moment I would have told you that thing's other name is Killer Whale.
GM: Take damage from the attack and falling damage from when you hit the sea again.
Dolphin: I hate you all.

Airborne orca catapults dolphin during hunt.
Get the story behind this pic #BigBlueLive @ 8pm PT/ET @MBayWhaleWatch pic.twitter.com/zTzdvrjJl1

— BBC Earth (@BBCEarth) September 2, 2015

Dolphin and Octopus: Charisma

Back in the days of Google+ I used to write up news stories involving certain sea creatures as if they were playing an RPG.  I'm digging them out of the archive for a second outing.  May include harm to animals.

Octopus: I swim out of the way of the boat.
Dolphin: I'm going to try to leap dramatically over the boat.  <rolls dice>  Well, crap.  Natural one.
GM: OK, so you make your dramatic leap and land... <rolls dice> In the boat.  Make attack rolls to see if you hit any of the passengers.
Dolphin: <rolls dice> So that's a miss, two regular hits and a critical.
GM: Roll your damage.  Here's a card for the critical.
Dolphin: <rolls dice> Minimum damage with the first hit, average on the second and the card says 'hobbled'.
GM: right, so you leap into the boat, knocking over the man, punching the girl in the face, and landing on the woman, breaking both her ankles.  <rolls dice>  And you take falling damage as you land.  And you're stuck in the boat, so you're going to take environmental damage for each round you're out of the water.
Dolphin: Well, crap.  Can I make a diplomacy check to convince them to keep me alive long enough to get me out of the boat?
Octopus: After punching one of them in the face and breaking another one's ankles?
GM: Sure, why not?
Dolphin: <rolls dice> Booyah!  Once again the bonus to charisma rolls versus humans pays off.
Octopus: <facetentacle>

Dolphin leaps into boat, injuring woman in California - BBC News

UK Games Expo 2020, a.k.a. Virtually Expo

UK Games Expo 2020

I'd never played an RPG at UK Games Expo before, as I've only ever been for one day and as I'm also a board gamer, the trade hall takes up that entire day.  But nothing is happening as usual in 2020, so I decided it was time to change things up and pitch a game.  Apparently there's a demand for Alien, as it sold out almost immediately.

The run up to the event was pretty stressful.  There are a number of ways that an online convention works differently to a face-to-face one, which we're all still learning in this strange plague-ridden year, and one thing the organisers hadn't taken into account is that the RPG GMs might want to contact their players ahead of the game.  I had a Roll20 link in the description, but it wasn't until the day of the game that the players all joined.  Along with that came website problems that periodically caused my game to vanish off the site, and while the Expo staff did a great job applying web fixes and attempting to do something about the contact problem without breaking GDPR, I was pretty damn stressed by Friday evening.

And then suddenly all my players were there on Roll20 and Discord, and everything was lovely as I introduced a new group of travellers to the delights of planet JWL-5.  This was the third time I'd run this adventure, with some small tweaks each time, and at this point I'm really happy with everything about it except my own notes, which are an appalling mess that I need to do something about.

I keep thinking of Alien as a complicated game to run, but in reality most of the complication is in the creation of the scenario and character motivations, all of which I've already done.  Actually running the thing is pretty smooth.  The Roll20 character sheet is superb, and makes things easy at the players' end.  Things can get a little hectic when a recursive panic chain goes off, but it turns out I handle those pretty well.

I enjoyed running it so much that I convinced myself to pitch the game again for GrimCon.  Sign up this week to join the fun!

Saturday morning I played The Cthulhu Hack.  A scenario called Jake's Last Letter saw a group of investigators looking into the mysterious events surrounding a friend's death.  I'm sure I've played The Cthulhu Hack before, but it was several years ago and somehow I remember nothing about it (looking back through the Concrete Cow archives has not helped, and I don't seem to have mentioned it on social media either.)  This was a great opportunity to see it in action, with what I'd think of as a 'normal' Cthulhu adventure.  Having since then done actual Call of Cthulhu character creation, a process that took us two hours, I really appreciate the uncomplicated character sheets of The Cthulhu Hack.

After that, I decided to do something I've never yet managed to do at the Expo: attend presentations and seminars.  Fitting things around my own plans meant I couldn't fit in any more RPGs, and I wasn't particularly interested in the board game demos, but the various Twitch streams and Discord calls kept me happily occupied for the rest of the weekend.  The various tech issues from Friday all appeared to be sorted by the time I logged in on Saturday, and everything went smoothly from then onwards.

Hopefully by next year things will be a little closer to normal and the Expo will be back in Birmingham.  If so, and if dates don't clash, I'll be considering running a few more RPGs and maybe making a weekend of it.  If not, the organisers now know how to put on an online event and will doubtless have everything running smoothly from the start.  I'll be back with more online games.