Wednesday, 2 September 2020

Dolphin and Octopus: Charisma

Back in the days of Google+ I used to write up news stories involving certain sea creatures as if they were playing an RPG.  I'm digging them out of the archive for a second outing.  May include harm to animals.

Octopus: I swim out of the way of the boat.
Dolphin: I'm going to try to leap dramatically over the boat.  <rolls dice>  Well, crap.  Natural one.
GM: OK, so you make your dramatic leap and land... <rolls dice> In the boat.  Make attack rolls to see if you hit any of the passengers.
Dolphin: <rolls dice> So that's a miss, two regular hits and a critical.
GM: Roll your damage.  Here's a card for the critical.
Dolphin: <rolls dice> Minimum damage with the first hit, average on the second and the card says 'hobbled'.
GM: right, so you leap into the boat, knocking over the man, punching the girl in the face, and landing on the woman, breaking both her ankles.  <rolls dice>  And you take falling damage as you land.  And you're stuck in the boat, so you're going to take environmental damage for each round you're out of the water.
Dolphin: Well, crap.  Can I make a diplomacy check to convince them to keep me alive long enough to get me out of the boat?
Octopus: After punching one of them in the face and breaking another one's ankles?
GM: Sure, why not?
Dolphin: <rolls dice> Booyah!  Once again the bonus to charisma rolls versus humans pays off.
Octopus: <facetentacle>

Dolphin leaps into boat, injuring woman in California - BBC News

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