Tuesday, 29 October 2019

Noghri Death Squad, part 6: Facilitating atrocities

Personal log, Zatti.

It was unfortunate losing BS-OJ and Gax, but fortunately we found some prisoners at the base and took them with us. Voahk is another Noghri who enjoys shooting things, and Wuzu is...actually I'm not sure what he is, but he claims to be a professional shopper, so if I ever decide to acquire things by spending money on them he'll be very useful.

We loaded the speeder bikes into the shuttle, checked it for bombs and tracking devices, and then flew away, blowing up the base behind us.

We headed for Restus, where we had no trouble landing due to being in a legitimate Empire ship that had been stolen by the rebels. Time to foment rebellion!

It was at about this point that I realised I had entirely misunderstood the mission parameters, and we were actually supposed to be stirring up rebellion against the Empire to give the Empire an excuse to come in and deal with the Naboo royal family.

Vesk and me weren't feeling too well after the fight at the base, but it turns out Voahk is slightly better at doctoring than Gax was, and he managed to get us all fixed up again. Wuzu went shopping and sold all the speeder bikes. I had a feeling that might not be the best idea, but I didn't find out until it was too late as I was off doing my own bit towards rebellion: stealing stuff and planting evidence. I got away with a digital lock pick and some Corellian whiskey.

I was right about selling the bikes being a bad idea, because while I was back at the shuttle playing with my new lock pick, the others went out for a drink and got attacked by Oobidoo Abidaa, the head of the Backstreet Magpies, and some of his gang, who wanted to know why we hadn't killed that smuggler yet and what had happened to the speeder bikes they loaned us. Fortunately the team is maintaining maximum combat efficiency and dealt with the problem effectively, although they did later get thrown out of the bar for performing surgery on the tables, as is the Noghri way.

Vesk and Aoghri got a head start on the rebellion fomenting, by doing some graffiti. Using some stencils and the pseudonym 'Wanksy' they adorned the walls of Restus with pictures of Lord Vader and Queen Stefani, with some appropriate commentary.

We came up with a plan that initially involved stealing the guards' uniforms, disguising ourselves as guards, and going and committing some atrocities in the local shanty town that we were already blaming for the graffiti. This was then refined into getting the guardsmen drunk, convincing them to go to the shanty town, and trying to spark trouble when they got there.

I went back to the bar with Wuzu, and assisted him with negotiating with the guards. They proved easily persuadable, and soon they and their bread helmets were heading for the shanty town, while I got on the dark space web to find some salacious gossip about Queen Stefani that Vesk and Aoghri could add to their graffiti.

Voahk headed stealthily to the shanty town (at least I assume that's where he went, as I certainly didn't see him go) to throw rocks and kick off a riot, which from what I heard later went very well, with plentiful acts of brutality being committed by the royal guards. Combined with the truly disgusting things written about the Queen on the walls, I think everyone is going to be appropriately pissed off when she arrives for her royal visit, and we will soon achieve our goals. Glory to Lord Vader!

...That is our goal, right?

How many martinis did Wuzu buy me?

*thud*

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